Among the many things I'm paranoid about and obsess over, my car is at the top of the list. I always think it's on its last leg, even though it hasn't even reached 70,000 miles yet. It's a VW Jetta, so theoretically it should get at least another 70,000 + miles. Thankfully, I have the most honest car mechanic imaginable. I need more than one hand to count the times he's sent me away without a bill, telling me that there's just nothing wrong with it. But don't you hear that squeaking, rumbly rattle? No, that's just the sound that cars make when they're running. Ah, I see.

Now, my mechanic - as honest and reasonable as he is - is also slightly unorthodox. I really don't care where he gets the parts for my car so long as everything works properly. That being said, since he first started doing my brakes he hasn't been able to figure out the "code" needed to reset my brake light. So.... my brake light on my dash is ALWAYS on. I hate it and it totally stresses me out. How I am supposed to know when my brakes are really bad? Just recently, my temperature gauge light has also been going on periodically. My washer fluid is low, so that light is on. My trunk which needs to really be slammed to close, has been slightly open for days so that light was lit up as well. When my gas light went on today, I thought my head was going to explode!

Now that I've all but beat the crazy germ phobia, I feel another type of irrational fear sneaking up on me! Hmmm, what will cost me less? A monthly car payment for a new ride, or weekly therapy sessions? A new car would certainly be more fun...

I am feeling sorry for myself today. I did my coworkers a favor and used a "mental health day". What a stupid name. Why not "head case day" or "leap from a bridge day"? Everyone talks about that seasonal affective disorder. Maybe that's what I'm suffering from. Or maybe I just feel like today my life sucks a little bit. If I'm on my usual emotional roller-coaster ride, I should be doing cartwheels in the front lawn or singing show tunes within the next half hour. Maybe that will help to offset the half gallon of Moose Track ice cream that I just ate straight from the carton.

I'm going to take my therapist's advice and LIST things to get it off my chest. We'll see how that works for me. Here are my reasons for being in a bad mood:

1. I have to do all the yard work myself this year. I have about 30 tall, LEAFY trees in my yard. That equates to about 80 refuse bags full of debris and the City of Cleveland SUCKS at leaf pickup. Last year they waited until after the first big snowstorm. Thanks. It may sound like no big deal, but it's just overwhelming.

2. In addition to the yardwork, and "girl" stuff like laundry, dishes and general cleaning, I also have to do all the "boy" stuff around the house now like taking out the garbage, relighting the furnace pilot and nailing things into the wall. Yes, I know - Gloria Steinem would be highly disappointed in my sexist division of duties.

3. I have no clothes for fall. I should take comfort in the fact that it's because I'm skinny this year, but still. I just about had an anxiety attack yesterday when I had to deviate from my usual jeans and t-shirt work uniform for business casual because of a lunch meeting.

4. I have paperwork. Lots of paperwork. Paperwork I would like someone else to take care of. Ugh.

4. I want a new car just because I'm bored with mine and I can't afford one. Now I'm just grasping at straws...

5. Um, my spray tan is fading and I'm back to pasty...

Yeah, pretty pathetic reasons for being in a bad mood and feeling sorry for myself. I probably just need to snap out of it. Now, if I could only find my Oklahoma! CD...