I have to preface this entry by explaining that my brother is special-needs, or as we commonly (and maybe politically-incorrectly) refer to as "handicapped". It's been a part of our life and we're not overly sensitive to it. We love him to bits and accept him and sometimes use humour to cope the ignorance of others. For example, my parents were tempted to buy a shirt for him that they found in a store that read, "I'm the bad thing that happens to good people". I can just imagine the looks we'd get if we took him out in public in that shirt! Anyways, my brother has been a great tool in teaching my kids to be accepting and understanding of people's differences. I never really thought about how it was perceived by Thing Two until she came out with a slew of funny questions:

Last Summer:
Thing One: Are dolphins or Grady Sizemore handicapped?
Me: No. What do you mean?
Thing One: Well, Uncle Matthew is handicapped and he doesn't talk. Dolphins don't talk and neither does Grady Sizemore, so I thought they might be handicapped too.

Last Week as we're getting ready to go to my brother's birthday dinner:
Thing One: Is this going to be a handicapped birthday party or do we get to eat cake?
Me: No, we get cake. What's a handicapped birthday party like?
Thing One: One where you just eat applesauce and peanut butter*

*My brother is allergic to just about everything under the sun and his favorite snack is peanut butter and applesauce!

This was meant to just be a "from the mouth of Thing Two" post, but as I'm writing, I feel compelled to mention how much I love and appreciate my little family. My mom and dad are the best role models when it comes to giving selflessly. A lot of kids like my brother live in group homes because they require so much care, but my parents both work and share the responsibility of caring for Matthew like it's second nature. You never hear them complain or act like martyrs. He's their son and they do for him just like I do for mine. The difference with mine is that one day, they will grow up and leave home to start their own lives. My brother will always be like a child for my parents to care for, but they do it happily. I remember my mom once saying something along the lines of her being so thankful that Matt was born into our family, so he could get all the love he deserves. And I think that love has shaped him into the sweet and lovable little guy that he is. I wouldn't trade him for a million un-handicapped brothers!

I'm not sure if the stuff that Thing One says is only funny to me, because I'm the mom, but I've been saying for years that I need to journal them so I don't forget any of it! So if no one else gets a kick out of it, at least I have record of it. She makes me laugh so often with what comes out of her mouth. I'm going to start with a couple of recent ones and add things as they pop into my memory.

Let me preface this by saying that Thing One is a goody-goody and never swears. She's sqeaky clean, that kid.

Thing One to the new hamster: Good morning, little guy. Aren't you a cute little bastard?!
Me: What did you just say?
Thing One: I said "bastard". Am I not supposed to say "bastard"?
Me: No, you cannot say that. It's a bad word. Where did you hear that?
Thing One: I don't remember. I just know it.

You have to know that she had the tiniest, softest voice and she was talking all high-pitched! Hysterical!


Yesterday was a day I really could have used a "ME DAY". Obviously, that doesn't happen much these days and I'm generally not big on needing a whole lot of alone time, but for some reason I was feeling a little bit fried. So, I take a break from cleaning to go to pee. Is it too much to ask for 60 seconds without interuption? Apparently so.

Thing One yelling from the living room: Mom, what does V-E-R-Y spell?
Me: Very
Thing One: What does S-M-A-L-L spell?
Me: Small
Thing One: What does P-I-N-E spell?
Me: Give me minute. I'm on the potty.
Thing One: But what does P-I-N-E spell?
Me: I AM ON THE POTTY.
Thing One: Can't you just tell me what P-I-N-E spells?
Me: NO. YOU NEED TO BE PATIENT. I AM TRYING TO GO POTTY!
Thing One: Yeah, well I'm trying to learn to READ!

Good Lord. Calgon take me away!

I thought I was safe when I let my 5-year-old listen to Q.104 on the radio with me in the mornings. That is until Thing One started singing along with Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" from the backseat on the way to Kindergarten. The sound of her innocent little voice singing about "the taste of her cherry chapstick" just about made me blow my coffee all over the dashboard! It didn't bother me in itself, but I was concerned about her going into school and singing it to her teachers during sharing time. So, I try to think of the best way to go about talking to her about it without making a big deal.

Me: You know, some people don't think that a song about kissing girls is very nice, so maybe you don't want to sing that out in public. In the car is fine, but don't sing it at school.

Thing One: Mooooooom (exasperated eye-roll). Sometimes girls marry girls and boys marry boys. People like different things and that's ok.

Crack up. I don't want to say that I've never been prouder, but it did make me feel warm to know that I'm raising a tolerant little soul who will hopefully carry that acceptance of people over into her adult life. I'm sure that many parents would have my one-way ticket to mom hell printed up in a heartbeat, but the direct simplicity of her comment made me smile and feel like I'm doing something right. Rock on, Thing One!