I've wondered how personal to get on my blog. I get a bit paranoid over who might stumble across it, what they might think, who may say what. I haven't quite put together my "new year's" resolutions, but when I get around to it, I may want to add "not giving a shit" to my list.

Since I haven't gotten too personal up to this point and I want to blog about my kids' first overnight trip to their dad and his girlfriend's place, I'll have to bring you up to speed in a couple of sentences... About 7 months ago, the ex, who was my husband at the time, decided to get a girlfriend. I found out about a month into it, went ballistic, begged him to work on it, unhealthily lost 20 lbs (that I didn't need to lose), acted like a pathetically desperate, insecure mess of a woman for a month while I begged him to end things with her and work on our marriage. All the while, he's still carrying on with texts, phone conversations, and nights spent at her place. Finally, my long lost self-respect kicked in and I asked him to leave. That was the point that the healing began and each week seemed to get better. Of course there were setbacks, like when he told me that he and the gf were expecting a baby together in April. Lovely. So, there's the no-frills recap, sans slobbery tears. I'm sure I sound awfully blase about it all now, but be assured I was the biggest, hurt mess of my life during that time and I cringe to even look back at myself during that time. I am so thankful to my parents who totally held me up and gave me the most beautiful support ever. Anyways, that's a bit more than a couple of sentences, and I'm going off on a tangent that I didn't plan on!

So.. On Friday, I got a text from ex, asking for the kids on Saturday. I was mildly annoyed at the last minute notice, but in true high-road fashion, I agreed and made the arrangements. He's taken them since the split during the day, but this was the first time that he took them to his place for a sleepover. It's not that I had worries about whether they'd be treated well or taken care of. I'm just used to having them myself. There is something about being a single mom. I won't say it's nice, because it's hard as hell, but it's all your way. I set the routine. I get Thing One ready for school, make meals, help with homework, give baths, read books, get ready for bed. All on my terms without interruption or static. And there's something very rewarding about going to bed at night feeling like you've done a good job juggling the kids, the job and the housework. That's not to say there isn't a lot I love about a "two-person life", but more on that in another post... Back to the topic of the sleepover, which was my original thought for this post, but has somehow now taken a back seat! You'd think that a single mom would be thankful for a night away from the kids on a weekend, and in a way it was nice. It just felt so strange thinking of them sleeping in a house I've never even seen the inside of. I couldn't picture them sleeping, which is something I always sneak in and watch them do before I go to bed. Besides that, there was some other woman (THE other woman) helping to get them into their jammies and making them breakfast. You know, mom stuff. With my kids. I wondered what they were talking about and if they were having more fun over there than they do with me. Is their place nicer than mine? Is she a better cook? Do they have better TV channels? I guess that's just how it goes. And I know the ex has the same feelings on the other side. Everyone I talk to says that these feelings and the tensions ease up as time passes. I sure hope so.

Because it's not cool to torment your 5-year old, I would never bombard Thing One with questions about the gf (even though I'm dying to), but you know kids and their mouths! She totally made my night last night with this exchange:

Thing One: "[insert gf name] burps a lot. every five minutes, she was like *burp*, excuse me. *burp*, excuse me."

Me: "hmmm, I wonder why that is?" (dying of laughter on the inside!!!)

Thing One: "maybe it's because she eats so much."

And just like that, the stress of their first overnight trip was dissolved! On the flip side of that, I wonder what she's saying about me!! GAWD!

I get it when people mistake a 3-month-old bald baby dressed in yellow for the wrong sex, but a 17-month old in blue pajamas and a crew cut? I don't get it! On my way through the drive thru at BK this morning, the girl at the window says to me, "Ohhh, she's adorable!" I thanked her and then corrected her. She did a double take and said, "You're right. He is a boy." Um, yeah, I'm right! Now, I've heard from a handful of people that Thing Two looks Asian, but never that he looks like a girl! And no, I don't have an Asian milk man, thank you very much.

I didn't wait with either of my pregnancies to be "surprised" by whether it was a girl or a boy. Really, what's the surprise? It's one or the other. Now, if I gave birth to a cat - that would be surprising. Seriously though, I really do give kudos to those parents who have the patience to wait. I've heard that at the first ultrasound, they give you the sex of the baby written on a piece of paper in a sealed envelope. How long must that 6 months be?!

For me, it wasn't the need to paint the room pink or blue or to buy gender-appropriate adorable outfits, it was the desire to be able to picture the little person they are going to be at 6 months, 2 years, 5 years, 18 years old. Looking, back though, I pictured them both all wrong! Thing One looks nothing like I pictured she would. I always imagined her with curly hair (don't know where that would have come from). It's poker straight. I pictured blue eyes and they're brown. Figured tall and she's short! They're both more amazing than I ever could have imagined...

Today was a great day!

Thing Two (my 15-month old son) took his first steps today! It's about time. I told myself I wouldn't worry about him not walking until he was 15 months old and he saved me by one day! 10 minutes after I got home this evening, he walked from the middle of the living room over to the couch. It was the adorable wobbly-leg, frankenstein-arm walk that they do when they're first getting their balance. So adorable. Of course I didn't get any video or a picture because it all happened so fast. By the time I got the camera ready, he wanted no part of walking anymore and didn't do it again the rest of the evening. Figures!

I also had a really good meeting with Positively Cleveland (GREAT ORGANIZATION!) this afternoon and then blew off the rest of my work day to have some ME time for a change. It felt great and it's something I definitely need more of. Then it was back to mom mode. Thing One had a playdate after dinner with one of the neighbour kids and I got to spend time with another cool mom for a bit while the kids played. I'm topping my day off with a quiet house, a glass of wine and the Grey's Anatomy season premiere. It's been a well-rounded and fantastic day!